First Death Arrives…
Later The Goddess…

Shared by Divya Subbanna-Santosh


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Hi Tarun & Celu,
                     You both have my love everywhere you go, it will follow like a warm clasp of a familiar hand. I want to share the life beyond of a loved one who passed away. We, (you and I), had seen the death of my Ajji (grandmother), she had a week more to live. Celu had told me to not see her die as it would be not a pleasant sight - the sight of blood oozing from every opening in her body. An aunt of mine and I cried embracing each other on a cold unkempt bed, it sank into us like a fine blade of glass, the knowing of her absence.

                    Ajji was a kind woman who had love in her eyes for her kin, her wrinkles told stories of unforgotten memories of a life well lived. She was surrounded by love and happiness, she was giving, her loving hands always wiped the worry off my brows. She wanted to know about all her relatives the last few weeks and called them home for a last goodbye. She met everyone, everyone she was near and dear to.

                   Weeks before, she stopped responding to my healing as if conveying that it was enough and it was time to let go. I remember seeing her heart beats getting recorded on the heart monitor - her last few. She waited till I arrived, she had closed her eyes, mom had wiped off the blood. I touched her hand and called out to her, when I saw the heart beats take a dip. Eyes cloud with tears, its tough to let go. 

                    I was worried for her, Tarun you helped her to reach the light, I knew she was safe then. I didn't have bad dreams about her ever. I used to send her Love and missed her dearly. One day, after a couple of years, I get a dream where all our family members pray to an image of hers and she comes into the pooja room then and claims "You don't worship someone who is living " and I knew then that she had moved on and she was happy wherever she was. I said to her she knows that I love her and that it will stay with her - always.

                    Our grandparents teach us how to be unconditional, they teach us what it is to be loved, when you have passed on, they teach us to lead a fuller life, they teach us the need to make time for Love, they teach us to embrace life as they did.

Much Love,






                    On Reflection::

"You don't worship someone who is living "

                    "Our grandparents" says Divya "teach us how to be unconditional, they teach us what it is to be loved, when they have passed on, they teach us..." They teach us...

                    Actually this real-life story unfolding beyond the grave, teaches us so much more than love, or a way of life, it offers us something jaw-dropping... something so astounding... many would consider it blasphemy... it teaches us that... we are not human... it teaches us that there are doorways inward... as we... you... i... open them... unlocking them here... striding through them there... it teaches us that mukti is not the limit... it teaches us that like Ajji... we can... become someone not just loved... or remembered fondly... but worthy of worship... A Goddess... a light... a Devi...

                    And that is astounding... Most of us aspire to such small things... homes... corner offices... a decent marriage... an American holiday... but if our life is humble... our heart's arms wide... our spirit true... we may if we put aside all ambition... if we are content to live in the place, where warmth surrounds... then... yes then... from our being another being may step forward... worthy... worthy of... how say it?... How even think it?

                    Ajji did not in life... have a golden throne... Or a thousand followers... she had a few relatives... an open home... her philosophy did not have a parthenon to house it... her life did not attract the Nobel Prize committee... and yet because it didn't... it's humbleness has given her the passport to something greater... something unimaginable... that makes words like nirvana... heaven... liberation... seem so trivial...

                    Love & God, Tarun...