We were healing A Shrivastav, taking her in deep to the bedrock of strength, when suddenly we feel a powerful pulsating presence in the healing room.
“I can feel something, someone… A whirlpool… a universe… so big…” Amita S murmurs…
It is her first darshan of God.
What is it like? We ask her.
‘Deep… heavy… dense… light… murmuring… magnificent…’ Words slip unwillingly out of Amita’s lips.
What it like? We push her furthur.
‘I feel like I am tiny… an ant… and it is an immense, rocklike presence… I am small compared to this mountain. But in its presence I am not an ant any longer… I am not reduced. I am not small… I have the immensity, the force we associate with an atom…”
What was God like?
“If I look, the rock is like… the trunk of an elephant… that is an ear… That rock is a giant stomach… oh it is Lord Ganesha… It is showing me the form of Lord Ganesha… I am standing before Lord Ganesha…”
Go closer… we urge her… when…
“I am holding it, it is like holding a vibration, a rock quivering… Oh God… it is opening its navel and pulling me in.. I am inside… inside God… I am safe… I am sure… I am strong… I am… Oh I am..in God… God surrounds me… It feels so good… so real… so beautiful…
Minutes pass… long minutes… the infinities in the minutes fill with God… We, Celia and Tarun feel strange ripples in our hands, as our palms hover over her pulsating abdomen, ripples writhe on her skin… the leg twitches… deep shifts happen…
Amita S emerges out of her healing. When she came in she was worried, back to the wall, almost at the end of her tether. Now she was calm, strong and content.
She has returned with a wondrous gift. She is living in God. We are living in God. What a magnificent promise, what an incredible reminder. We are right here and now not in the outskirts of existence. We are not trailing a million miles behind the departing footsteps of a dead God. We are not just permitted to touch the dusty sandals of God. We are not just permitted to hold his crumpled dhoti. We are not just welcomed into his arms. We are in God. Sweet morsel in his life. Flesh of his flesh. Blood of his blood.
A month passes, and Amita calls again. She says for the first four weeks she was on a high, then a few days ago something shook her and the old helplessness was returning.
We remind her that the God she encountered was not a feel-good chemical mushing around her brain. But a promise, a reality. She was in God. Within God. She had to carry that certainty. The difference between a Vision and Reality is the difference between having the blueprint of a home and building on it. She was in God. You and I are in God. But we will know we are in God only when we behave like we are in God. At a marriage party some uncles arrive and act like they are guests. So they are spoilt guests and will be treated like that. A friend comes and behaves like family. He becomes family.
As I write this article, as I began writing this article, I had woken up and seen my breath was a silver filigree. I could see the living air and the life beneath that. Around me was great spirals of aliving. And I remembered Amita’s session. And the great promise contained in it.
We are in God. We are living in God. We may not see it, may not know it. May not realise it with the clarity that Amita S has. But that is the truth. We are in God. God surrounds us.
Now what is the difference between the seeker who remembers she is in God. And the seeker who doesn’t? Auras offer an answer. In both cases, a past life burden stays grim & dark. The challenges before her are still ugly, harsh. The difference is at her navel chakra. It is a dazzling whirlpool of force. And we all know that the navel is where our ‘guts’ are. Remembering we are in God does different things to different people. For most its effect is in the navel. The power centre. For me, Tarun, personally it happens in my butt. Giving me dum in the bum.
And what would happen if we didn’t just know but really know? Ms Shrivastav from having a positive navel chakra, would have a dazzling heart. We are not going on a journey to God. We are already in God. We are walking between not knowing to knowing. From knowing to believing. From believing to faith, from faith to certitude so brilliant it is a pimple on the blaze… Of God.
You may see God as Amita does, as Lord Ganesha. Or Joseph from the Bible. A light. Or as a scientist sees it as a ‘self organizing matrix’. Or as God describes himself to Tarun as ‘An Ecstatic Becoming…’
We are in God. We are in God whether we are in the palace of a king, a lavatory in a state highway bus stop, by a graveyard, caught in a traffic jam, or facing a Tsunami. We are in God. And when we remember that, we align ourselves differently to the vast self-organizing matrix of force, the present reality which at one moment looks hopeless now looks like a rockface filled with places that fingers may grip, that toes may hold.
Today, we are children in KG class. Learning elementary but foundational lessons. And surely this is one of the most significant. We are in God. Right here. Right now.